I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
