yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
