the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
