THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Green mimosas i think yes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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