Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We need to get me chipped asap
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