Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
