You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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