Someone shit on the floor
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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