Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize