just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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