Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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