spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
