By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
