i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I think people are normalizing furries
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
