if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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