my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Let's paint friendship bongs
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
