you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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