Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
