he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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