I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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