1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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