now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize