I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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