You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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