I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she peed on how many people?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They are going to name an STD after you.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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