i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize