What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
