I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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