Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
