you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
