and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
