you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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