..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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