But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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