i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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