she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
