The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
