I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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