the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
