I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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