During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
