This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
