So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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