john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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