We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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