What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
