Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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