Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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