Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize