Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
