I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
