I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
