she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize