just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
